Blog 77: More Than “Just a Mum”: Reclaiming Your Spark in Motherhood
Empowering mothers to rediscover themselves beyond the chaos of motherhood.
Introduction
Meet the amazing Emma, a passionate advocate for mothers’ wellbeing. Like you, she has experienced the highs and lows of motherhood—the joy, the chaos, and sometimes, the feeling of losing myself along the way. But here’s the truth: you are more than just a mum, and it’s possible to thrive without guilt or overwhelm.
Through selfcare practices like mindfulness, movement, and connecting with nature, she has learned how to prioritise her wellbeing while embracing the beautiful chaos of motherhood. Her mission is to help you rediscover you—your passions, your joy, and your spark.
Let’s embark on this journey together because you deserve to feel supported, empowered, and seen.
Emma, tell me about yourself, your personality, and your passion. How do you serve yourself? Also, how do you serve the community?
I'm Emma, a passionate advocate for mother’s wellbeing. Like you, I've experienced the incredible joy and overwhelming challenges of motherhood. I know firsthand the delicate balance between nurturing our children and nurturing ourselves.
I'm a firm believer in the power of selfcare and community. I find solace in nature, losing myself on a walk, and practicing mindfulness. I'm committed to serving my community by empowering mothers to prioritise their mental health and rediscover their authentic selves. As we are more than “Just a Mum”.
10 Questions for Emma
- Can you recall a specific instance where you witnessed another mum struggling with losing her sense of self in motherhood? What struck you about her experience, and how did it resonate with your journey?
I've often witnessed the quiet struggle of mothers who, while radiating love and care for their children, seem to have lost a piece of themselves. It's heartbreaking to see the spark in their eyes dim, replaced by a sense of exhaustion and self-doubt. Their stories mirror my own journey, reminding me of the importance of self-compassion and resilience.
- In your observations, what are some of the most common ways to lose themselves in motherhood? What are the subtle signs that someone might be struggling in this way?
Some common ways mothers can lose themselves include neglecting their hobbies, prioritising others' needs over their own, not remembering it’s ok to say no. And experiencing constant fatigue. Subtle signs might include increased irritability, snapping, difficulty sleeping, and a lack of motivation.
We can feel out of touch with are partners and we can lose the connection we once shared. This can make us feel lonely.
3. How do you believe hypnosis, meditation, and gut-directed hypnosis can empower mums to reclaim their sense of self and find balance amidst the demands of motherhood?
Hypnosis, meditation, and gut-directed hypnosis and moving our body can be powerful tools for reclaiming your sense of self. These practices can help reduce stress, improve sleep, and enhance your overall wellbeing. By calming the mind and body, you can regain a sense of control and clarity.
4. What unique challenges do you think mums face in prioritising their wellbeing and personal growth? How can these practices help them overcome those challenges?
Mothers often face the unique challenge of feeling guilty for prioritising selfcare. These practices can help by providing a structured approach to selfcare, making it easier to fit into busy schedules.
5. What practical tips or strategies would you offer mums interested in incorporating these practices into their busy lives? How can they make time for selfcare without feeling guilty or overwhelmed?
To incorporate these practices into your life, start small. Begin with a few minutes of meditation each day or listen to a guided hypnosis session, head out for a walk or just sit and breath.
6. What words of encouragement would you offer a mum hesitant or fearful about embarking on a journey of self-discovery and healing?
Remember, motherhood is a beautiful journey, but it's important to nurture ourselves as well. Whether your children are babies, toddlers, teenagers or adults, the demands of motherhood can be overwhelming. As our children grow, so do our roles as parents. We must learn to adapt, to let go, and to support our children as they become their own unique individuals. It can be difficult to let go, but it's essential for their growth and our own wellbeing.
We can show our children love, compassion, and understanding by encouraging them to pursue their dreams, goals, and passions. We can empower them to embrace their individuality and confidently navigate the world. However, we can't do this if we lose sight of ourselves.
7. What message do you want to share with mums who believe that losing themselves in motherhood is inevitable? What is your vision for their journey?
I see you; I feel you, and I understand you. Let's embark on this journey of self-discovery together.
8. How do you envision your journey evolving as you help other mums on their path? What are your aspirations for your work and its impact on the world?
Embarking on a journey of self-discovery can be daunting, but it's worth it. Remember, you deserve to be happy and filled. With each step, you're not only investing in yourself but also in your family.
9. What would it look like if you could create a supportive community for mums? What kind of environment and resources would you provide to help them thrive?
I envision a community where mothers can connect, share experiences, and offer support. It would be a safe space to explore selfcare practices, attend workshops, and simply be heard.
Here is a story from a client of mine. A Mother's Journey: A RealLife Story. Being a part in my four week “Not Just a Mum” course. when I was a single mum and decided it was time for a night out – I realised that all my clothes were 100% “Mum clothes” – I didn’t have anything that looked or felt like the me that I knew was hidden underneath that image – someone who wanted to be confident and attractive and happy and more than “just a Mum”.
For me I wish I had realised in the early days that I decided it was just easier to do everything myself then to ask for help and have someone do it in a different way. It started with little things – like how the nappy bag had to be packed – and led to me never being able to have a night out with friends without making sure all the Mum jobs were done – dinner, bath, bed. Sometimes it was easier just to say no to a night out because I thought of myself as a mum – when really, I was a mum, and I was also my own person – neither one being more important than the other!
I think once you get rid of all that white noise which includes the ever-present Mum guilt and remind mums of who they are and why they are just as important being a real person as it is to be a mum, whilst confronting, it will give them the power and the desire to bring that person back!
I think sayings like “the days are long, but the years are short” just make us feel guilty – there is a stigma attached to looking after yourself before looking after your children. Therefore, things like working out or even going for a massage as seen as a “gift” or “bonus” if you have done all your Mum jobs. Instead, we should be thinking about when you board an aeroplane, and the hostess tells you to put your own oxygen mask before your child’s – that’s a great metaphor that should be applied to being a mum!
For me I love cold hard facts – when I started dating my now partner, I was working until 2 am in the morning – he challenged me to start sleeping eight hours a night and see that I would be a much more productive parent and business owner. I love a good challenge, and he also presented me with the facts, so I accepted the challenge, and this reaped the rewards as per the research! Every time now I think I want to do something new which may be considered selfcare, I research the benefits of it, and I can’t argue with facts. For example, in the last fortnight I’ve restarted ballet classes – a passion of mine from my childhood. The research into learning routines to stave off dementia is overwhelming so therefore there is no guilt whatsoever as I grabbed my ballet shoes and walk out the door to pirouette the night away.
You are never going to regret doing anything for yourself – and you don’t need to seek anybody else’s opinion on that. As soon as you start looking after yourself in anyway – physically or mentally – a wonderful by-product is you become a better parent!!
My message is stop listening to everybody else – turn your thoughts toward yourself, talk to yourself like you would your best friend, and I promise you the more you look after YOU the more you will love your journey of motherhood!
10. Something I Wish People Knew About Me?
You are never going to regret doing anything for yourself – and you don’t need to seek anybody else’s opinion on that. As soon as you start looking after yourself in anyway – physically or mentally – a wonderful by-product is you become a better parent!!
My message is stop listening to everybody else – turn your thoughts toward yourself, talk to yourself like you would your best friend, and I promise you the more you look after YOU the more you will love your journey of motherhood!
You will never regret prioritising yourself. It's a truth I've learned firsthand, and I wish more people knew its power.
As mothers, we often find ourselves juggling countless responsibilities, worrying about the future, and losing sight of our own needs. But true happiness and fulfillment come from being present in the moment.
I've been there. I've felt the weight of constant worry, the guilt of neglecting myself, and the sadness of missing out on precious moments with my family. It's a heartbreaking realisation, but it's also a powerful lesson.
By turning our focus inward, we can cultivate selflove and selfcare. When we prioritise our own wellbeing, we become better parents, better partners, and better versions of ourselves
So, take the time to
● Listen to your inner voice: Trust your intuition and make choices that align with your values.
● Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself, especially during challenging times.
● Embrace the present moment: Savour the little joys, from a warm hug to a shared laugh.
Remember, you deserve to be happy and fulfilled. By prioritising yourself, you're not only investing in your own wellbeing but also in the wellbeing of your loved ones.
Something about my family life:
My dad worked as Royal Protection.
Despite my best intentions, I’m ALWAYS running late. It's a constant battle!
I spent many years dancing when I was young.
My biggest regret is not having my stepfather walk me down the aisle with myself and my dad.
Like many, I've struggled with anxiety. While I've made significant progress in managing it, there are still moments when it takes over. The key is recognising those moments and taking steps to regain control.
Silencing the noise in my head. One of my biggest challenges is worrying about what others think about me. It's a constant battle to silence the negative voices and focus on what truly matters.
I hope sharing helps you connect me. We all have our struggles, and it's okay to be imperfect.
If people are interested in following you, please provide your details:
Courses: Not Just a Mum round three coming soon
Top Quotes
Emma likes these quotes:
“I always live in the present. The future I can’t know. The past I no longer have” - Fernando Pesspoa
“There ain’t no shame in that self-love game.”- Jonathan Van Ness
“Make sure you find time for the things that make you feel happy to be alive”. Unknown
Mukti likes these quotes:
“…moms, even good ones, sometimes lose it a little so as not to lose it all.” ―Susan Squire
“Being a parent is dirty and scary and beautiful and hard and miraculous and exhausting and thankless and joyful and frustrating all at once. It’s everything.” ―Jill Smokler
“Motherhood is wonderful, but it’s also hard work. It’s the logistics more than anything. You discover you have reserves of energy you didn’t know you had.” —Deborah Mailman
“Motherhood brings as much joy as ever, but it still brings boredom, exhaustion, and sorrow too. Nothing else ever will make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, for nothing is quite as hard as helping a person develop his own individuality especially while you struggle to keep your own.” ―Marguerite Kelly
“Moms are like buttons — they hold everything together.” —Unknown
Questions and Reflections
1. What’s one thing you miss doing that brought you joy?
2. How would prioritising your wellbeing positively impact your family?
3. What small change can you make this week to focus on yourself?
These are Emma’s answer for the above questions:
1. Pole dancing
2. I am less prone to outbursts that come from holding back stresses, more focused and don’t chop and change priorities that is very hard to deal with. I start to enjoy the simple things rather than stressing about the big things. I am more approachable, plus more understanding and more fun!
3. This week I am making sure I have down time in the evening, so I get a good night sleep.
Conclusion
Motherhood is a journey of challenges and opportunities to grow and rediscover yourself. Let’s take this step together toward a more fulfilled and joyful life. You’ve got this, mama!
Emma’s story is a powerful reminder that motherhood is a journey of growth, self-discovery, and balance. It’s about embracing the beauty and challenges while remembering that you are more than “just a mum.” By prioritising your wellbeing, reconnecting with your passions, and finding joy in the small moments, you create a thriving life for yourself and your family. Let Emma’s journey inspire you to take that first step toward rediscovering the amazing person you are—because you deserve it.
Connect with me:
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Here’s to a more vibrant, energised, and thriving you!
Thanks for being here, and let’s kickstart your growth and toast to your successes as you unlock your full potential!
Do you have questions? Don’t be shy—drop me a line! I love chatting with our awesome community.
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With much Love
Mukti Santos
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do it.”- Howards Thurman
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