Blog 76: Raising Resilient Kids: Practical Tips for Thriving Amid Motherhood Challenges with Lore!
Navigate motherhood with confidence—support, selfcare, and progress over perfection.
Introductions
Meet Lore, who once thought my 15+ years working with kids prepared me for motherhood. Spoiler alert: she was so wrong! Motherhood is a new ballgame—no guidebook, no breaks, and a lot of love (and chaos!).
She knows what it’s like to feel overwhelmed, juggling tantrums and to-do lists and trying to squeeze in moments for yourself. We have all been there—alone, exhausted, and wondering if I’d ever feel like me again. But here’s the good news: it’s possible to find calm within the chaos and reconnect with who you are outside of being a mum.
Tell me about yourself, your personality, and your passion. How do you serve yourself? Also, how do you serve the community?
I’m a mom of two who naively thought that my 15+ years working with kids would make motherhood easy-breezy. Ha! It turns out, nothing fully prepares you for the reality of raising your own tiny humans!
I’m naturally empathetic, resilient, and a bit of a control freak, with a sarcastic side and a deep passion for creating and teaching. I coach moms because I’m one too, and I know the struggles we face daily. I’ve been there myself, and I know how isolating it can feel.
After my first daughter was born, my husband and I moved overseas, leaving me to navigate motherhood without a village. One night, I found myself alone, exhausted, and overwhelmed. A talk with my husband, and his gentle encouragement to seek help, changed everything. I began a journey to rediscover myself within motherhood and beyond it—through therapy, programs, coaching, and practices that gave me back a sense of self.
Now, I care for myself through journaling, yoga, somatic movement, and yes, some random time scrolling (because I do enjoy it!). ADHD makes consistency tough, but I’m all about progress, not perfection! Today, I work 1:1 with moms of toddlers and pre-schoolers, helping them regulate their emotions and find calm inside the chaos of motherhood. I’m also developing an upcoming group coaching program, where I aim to keep it real by sharing the good and the challenging. I believe every mom deserves to feel seen, supported, and empowered in her journey.
10 Questions for Lore
1. How can I manage my emotions and prevent outbursts when dealing with my child’s tantrums or challenging behaviour?
Oof, the tantrums, right? They can seriously test even the calmest of us. When you feel frustration bubbling up, just pause. Take a deep breath, maybe even walk a few steps away if it’s safe to leave your child for a moment. Remind yourself that your little one is having a hard time, not giving you a hard time. They’re not trying to push you to the edge (even if it feels that way!). And hey, if you do have a mom-moment and lose it, don’t beat yourself up. Apologize, hug it out, and move on. We’re all human!
2. What practical tools and techniques can I use to help my child regulate their emotions?
The first thing kids need is for us to model the behaviour we want to see. We can’t teach them to regulate if we’re not doing it ourselves. Naming feelings out loud helps, too. “I see you’re feeling frustrated because you can’t have the toy.” Giving words to feelings helps them understand what’s happening inside. A ‘calming corner’ with sensory activities, like fidget toys or soft items, can also help them relax. Over time, this space becomes their go-to when they need to calm down.
3. How can I create a calm and supportive environment for my child, even when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed?
When life feels like a whirlwind, kids can pick up on it. For me, the key is having tools and clear communication. For yourself, have a go-to stress reliever (a quick dance session or stepping outside for fresh air) and routines for your child that they can rely on. When things get chaotic, a predictable routine or simple visual cues (like a morning checklist) can help everyone feel more grounded. And on those days when everything’s just too much? It’s okay to let them know you’re feeling stressed and that it’s not their fault.
4. What role does selfcare play in effective parenting? How can I priorities my wellbeing while caring for my child?
Let me say it loud for the moms in the back: selfcare isn’t selfish! When we’re running on empty, it’s impossible to pour into our kids the way we want. Selfcare doesn’t have to mean a long bath or massage. It can be little things—like shaking your body for 30 seconds, deep breathing for a minute, or sneaking in a quiet coffee before the day starts. When you feel good, you parent better, and your kiddos pick up on that positive energy.
5. How can I foster open communication and connection with my child, even when facing difficult situations?
The key here is being honest, even with young kids. If you’re going through something hard, you don’t have to overshare, but you can say, “Mommy’s dealing with a big feeling, but we’re going to figure it out.” Let them see that everyone has ups and downs. Encourage them to share their feelings too, whether it’s by talking, drawing, or just snuggling. Sometimes, just getting down to their eye level and really listening goes a long way. They feel heard, and that’s everything.
6. What are some common parenting mistakes to avoid, and how can I make positive changes?
We all mess up. One biggie is expecting our kids to regulate their emotions when they’re not developmentally ready, especially if we haven’t taught them how. Another? Comparing yourself to others—nobody has this all figured out! The best way to make changes? Focus on connecting more than correcting. Instead of just “fixing” the behaviour, try to understand what’s happening underneath the behaviour. And always circle back with love, even after a tough moment. It’s about progress, not perfection.
7. What role does discipline play in conscious parenting? How can I set boundaries without resorting to punishment?
Some think conscious parenting means letting kids do whatever they want. Not true! Discipline in conscious parenting exists; it’s just not about punishment—it’s about teaching. Think of it as helping them learn life’s rules with respect. When you set a boundary, be firm and kind. Instead of “You’re in trouble,” try, “Let’s talk about what happened and why that choice wasn’t okay.” Boundaries are super important, but so is feeling safe and supported within them. Your calm response shows them how to handle hard situations without fear.
8. How can I support my child’s emotional development and help them build resilience?
Let them struggle a little! Resilience is built when they face small challenges with you cheering them on. Encourage them to try things on their own but be there to support. When things don’t go their way, show them how to handle it. Saying, “I saw how hard you worked on that, even though it didn’t turn out as you wanted,” helps them feel valued for their effort. Focusing on effort and problem-solving rather than success alone builds their confidence.
9. What resources or additional support can I seek to enhance my parenting skills and emotional regulation?
There’s so much out there for moms! Books like The Whole-Brain Child and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen are great starting points. Parenting groups, podcasts, and online courses are fantastic ways to learn and connect with other moms who get it. And if you ever feel totally stuck, there’s no shame in reaching out to a coach or therapist. We all need that supportive village. Keep an eye on social media, it can be a great resource but remember to filter the advice given there.
10. Something I Wish People Knew About Me?
I’m still learning and growing, just like everyone else. People sometimes think I must have it all figured out because I coach moms, but I definitely have my own moments. I wish other moms knew that it’s okay to be a mess sometimes. None of us are perfect, and that’s okay—especially with parenting. For me, it’s all about growing, learning from our mistakes, and loving them unconditionally.
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Top Quotes
Lore likes these quotes:
“There is no such thing as a perfect parent, so just be a real one." – Sue Atkins
“The first step to teaching your child to manage their emotions is to manage yours. You are your child’s greatest role model." – Dr. Becky Kennedy
Mukti likes these quotes:
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” - Thomas Edison
"If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward." - Martin Luther King Jr
“What good is an idea if it remains an idea? Try. Experiment. Iterate. Fail. Try again. Change the world.” - Simon Sinek
“You can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react to it.” - Mahatma Gandhi
Questions and Reflections
- What small step can I take today to feel more connected to myself?
- How do I currently model emotional regulation for my kids?
- What’s one moment this week that made me smile or feel proud as a mum?
Conclusion
Motherhood isn’t about having it all figured out; it’s about showing up, learning, and growing alongside your kids. Whether it’s tantrums, self-care, or setting boundaries, you do an incredible job—even on the tough days.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. We support and empower you to thrive, not just survive. Let’s tackle the chaos of motherhood one step at a time—because you deserve to feel seen, supported, and confident in the amazing mum you are.
Connect with me:
Join the Gang: Join our community and share your experiences, insights, and any burning questions you have. Let’s build a supportive space where growth and transformation aren’t just goals—they’re what we do!
Here’s to a more vibrant, energised, and thriving you!
Thanks for being here, and let’s kickstart your growth and toast to your successes as you unlock your full potential!
Do you have questions? Don’t be shy—drop me a line! I love chatting with our awesome community.
Feeling stuck in a rut and yearning for a life transformation?
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With much Love
Mukti Santos
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, I’m possible!” - Audrey Hepburn
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