7 min read

Blog 67: The Freedom of Letting Go: Removing Expectations to Reclaim Your Power

Are you ready to embark on a journey of personal growth and break free from the emotional rollercoaster of unmet expectations? Discover how letting go can lead to peace and empowerment, transforming your relationships and overall wellbeing.
Blog 67: The Freedom of Letting Go: Removing Expectations to Reclaim Your Power
Photo by Kristina V / Unsplash

Are you ready to embark on a journey of personal growth and break free from the emotional rollercoaster of unmet expectations?  Discover how letting go can lead to peace and empowerment, transforming your relationships and overall wellbeing.

Introduction

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We all know that feeling. You're expecting a birthday shoutout from a friend or partner to see what you need or a little recognition for your hard work at the office. And when it doesn't happen? Ouch. It's like a punch to the gut, leaving you hurt and maybe even resentful. But what if there's a way to dodge those emotional punches? What if the secret to bouncing back stronger is letting go of those expectations?

 The Power of Expectations

Think of expectations like those invisible strings we tie to people, hoping they'll dance to a certain tune. We want them to act in specific ways, meet our needs, and make us happy. But here's the thing: those expectations often come from our heads, shaped by our past experiences and secret wishes. So, when someone doesn't live up to them, it's not necessarily about them or how they feel about us. They're just living their own life with their own unique set of priorities and perspectives.

The Price of Unmet Expectations

Holding onto expectations is like setting ourselves up for a fall. It's exhausting, and honestly, it's a recipe for disappointment, resentment, and even arguments. When we expect people to act a certain way, we're basically handing them the remote control of our feelings. We leave ourselves wide open to getting hurt whenever they don't do what we thought they would.

The Freedom of Letting Go

Letting go of expectations isn't about becoming a cold fish or not caring. It's more about realising we can't control other people, like trying to herd cats! People mess up, have their own things going on, and sometimes disappoint us. That's just life. The real shift is turning our attention to the things we can control – our thoughts, feelings, and how we choose to react.

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Start by acknowledging that you can't control others. Accept that people will make mistakes, have different perspectives, and sometimes disappoint you. This doesn't mean you have to tolerate hurtful behaviour, but it does mean recognising that you can't force others to change.

 

Embrace the Unexpected: 3 Steps to Emotional Freedom

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  1. Acceptance is Key: The first step to freedom is acknowledging that you're not a puppet master. People will mess up, have different opinions, and sometimes let you down. It's not personal; it's just life doing its thing.
  2. Speak Your Truth: Instead of playing the guessing game, communicate your needs and desires openly and honestly. It's like giving someone a treasure map instead of expecting them to stumble upon your buried gold.
  3. Invest in Yourself: The most empowering relationship you'll ever have is with yourself. Focus on your growth, pursue your passions, and cultivate self-love. When your own cup is full, you're less reliant on others to fill it. It's a journey of self-discovery and empowerment that's waiting for you.
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Instead of harbouring unspoken expectations, communicate your needs and desires clearly and honestly. This doesn't guarantee that others will always meet them, but it opens the door for understanding and collaboration.

Top Quotes

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Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST / Unsplash
“Remove expectation from people, and you will remove their power to hurt your feelings. If you don't like something, take away its only power: your attention.”  Bruce Lee.
 
“If you want to fly in the sky, you need to leave the earth. If you want to move forward, you need to let go of the past that drags you down.” Amit Ray
 
“I don't regret difficulties I experienced; I think they helped me to become the person I am today, I feel the way a warrior must feel after years of training; he doesn't remember the details of everything he learned, but he knows how to strike when the time is right.” Paulo Coelho
 
“To resist change, to try to cling to life, is like holding your breath: if you persist you kill yourself.” Alan Watts

Questions and Reflections

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  1. What are some expectations you often place on others? Are they realistic? Are they serving you?
  2. Think of a time when unmet expectations caused you pain. How did you react? What would you do differently now?
  3. Imagine a life where your happiness isn't dependent on others' actions. What would that look like? What steps can you take to create that reality?

Conclusion

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 Letting go of expectations is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, practice, and self-compassion. But the rewards are immense. By releasing expectations, you reclaim your power, protect your emotional well-being, and build stronger, more authentic relationships. Remember, you are not responsible for others' actions but for your own happiness. Choose freedom. Choose empowerment. Choose to let go.

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Shift your focus from what you expect from others to what you can control - your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Invest in your growth and wellbeing. Pursue your passions, set personal goals, and cultivate self-love.
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 With much Love

Mukti Santos 

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” E.M. Forster

Journal Prompts

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Write a letter to your past self, offering advice on how to navigate the tricky terrain of expectations.
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Create a list of affirmations that celebrate your own worth and remind you that your happiness is your responsibility.
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Imagine a conversation with someone who has disappointed you. Write a script that focuses on open communication and understanding, rather than blame or resentment.